I was reading back through my last post and I thought there was a point in there that needed further explanation. This is a line stated by many people who have a friend or relative who is trans*, from the nastiest bigot to the really well meaning family member. This line is “That’s not who you are to me” (abv. in this article now as TNWYATM) and it can be one of the most damaging things to say to a trans* person and I am going to talk about why.
I had planned on posting on Tuesday about pronouns but then life happened and I ended up writing this instead. I’d planned out my post and even found some resources to use but it didn’t go as planned (I will add a brief post about pronouns very soon as long as my regular post next week. Enjoy.)
One of the upsides of coming out as trans* is being learning which friends really care about you and which friends won’t accept you for who you are.
The downside is you find out which friends won’t accept you for who you are and that often leads to losing friends which can be hard when you’re only just accepting yourself.